Here come the Naked Ladies.

By Anita Garner

People say Naked Ladies are practically indestructible, but I assumed I’d lost mine. Earlier this year in my yard, a tree had to be removed right next to where the Naked Ladies bloomed last summer, and everything around the tree got uprooted.

I like it best when Naked Ladies show up in unlikely places. At the edge of town there’s a strip of land alongside the road and that patch of earth, unlike the rest of this mostly manicured area¬† (Mill Valley is a very well kept little village) remains inexplicably overrun with weeds. Last summer, a gorgeous line-up of feisty Naked Ladies popped up in the midst of the weeds. I wonder how they got there. Hope they’re back this year.

Driving in Sonoma County to visit friends in Sebastopol, I turned off the freeway to take a parallel road through the beautiful countryside and Naked Ladies nodded at me all along my route. I arrived at the driveway of my Sebastopol friends and admired the profusion of Naked Ladies along their fence. My friend, the only person I’ve ever heard say a discouraging word about a perfectly harmless pink flower, said, “I don’t like them. Never have.” I asked what does he have against Naked Ladies and he said, “They make me sad. They have no leaves and that’s no way for a flower to be.”

I, on the other hand, applaud their fortitude. Within the last week, the Naked Ladies have started marching all over town, so just now I checked the bare spot in my front yard and sure enough, four of them are poking through. Soon, these little shoots will once again resemble the grownup Ladies in the picture above.


3 thoughts on “Here come the Naked Ladies.”

  1. They’re gorgeous! And while your story just made me understand why they’re called Naked Ladies I’m now curious about the beginning of that great name.

  2. FROM THE DESK OF P. MASON / Marin County District Attorneys Office

    Ms Garner:

    It has come to our office’s attention that there are several naked ladies buried on your property. As you know, this is not only a state, but federal offense as well, and carries severe penalties if found guilty. Having said that, and until an official autopsy can be performed on the alleged naked ladies buried within the property, you are advised to remain in the state, and contact Sergeant Friday at my office as soon as possible. We are also investigating a report that, additionally, there may be multiple naked men buried in your basement. This, too, would be a state and federal offense with the usual penalties attached.

    However, if the allegations listed above are determined to be false, we offer our apologies and hope that you’ll take advantage of a pair of free passes to a Chip and Dale’s in your area with two free beverages and a complimentary lap dance.

    We will be in touch.


    P. Mason / Marin County District Attorneys Office

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