By Anita Garner
Nostalgia is a favorite part of Facebook for me. I’m a lifelong broadcaster and we’re fraternal. When we leave microphones and cameras behind, we don’t necessarily leave each other. I belong to several Facebook broadcast groups, at least one for every station where I’ve worked. Then there are school groups and groups with special musical interests and groups that celebrate places we once lived. Bonds form, sometimes with people we’ve never met. We stay in touch enough to feel like a neighborhood. Most of the time I scan updates but always stop long enough to remark on milestones.
There’s more to each of us than our closest relatives and friends know about. My nearest and dearest couldn’t know of conversations on Facebook with people they’ve never heard me mention, chats with Facebook friends I’m by now genuinely fond of. Nothing wrong with a bit of mystery but it can also be a downside to all this fraternizing. If our families don’t know the people in our chats, they can’t let them know when we’re gone. More than once I’ve started to wish a Facebook acquaintance a Happy Birthday and find a comment from someone else a while back, indicating the friend has died.
A suggestion: When Facebook knows a person has died, they should say so. An icon on the page of the person who’s passed away would suffice. Adding it near the profile picture or the friend’s name would give us a chance to decide whether we want to say something personal about the departed.
I appreciate knowing when a Facebook friend has passed away. Some families announce it on a Facebook page, but many others don’t know how to gain access. Perhaps for a year the page could remain open with the icon indicating the person has died, giving everyone a chance to comment there.
How about a small wreath? It doesn’t have to be black, though that seems to be acceptable in most cultures. Or maybe green would be nice? Just a little something saying this Facebook member is now eternally emeritus. Here are a couple of ideas – not my designs. I found them online.
And dear Facebook, please don’t worry about your aging demographics. We’re living longer, we’re spending longer, and many of us consider a little Facebook time a bright spot in the day. I hope you’ll accept this icon suggestion as a nod to certain courtesies and rituals many of us embrace. We celebrate our lives on Facebook and we appreciate the opportunity to pay our respects to the departed.
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