Magic Wand

By Anita Garner

Dave Williams and I started this blog when we were both new grandparents.  Mine called me “Hammy” and his called him “Bompah.”  Occasionally I go back to read posts about our grandbabies.  Caedan Ray, the little girl in the picture above, has turned into a sixteen year old. Her latest birthday wish was granted and her hair is short and bright red.

If you visit here often you know I have one daughter and one grandchild.   When the Grand came along in 2004 I commuted between Mill Valley, CA, where I lived, to Woodland Hills, CA, where they lived and we made the most of every visit.

This story below was from this green velvet dress/cool black boots and princess hair period,  when all kinds of magic was in the air and anything could happen.

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My Grand is disappointed with my wishes. She urges me to rethink them. She approaches with her magic wand. She isn’t tired of making that whooshing, wish-granting sound.  She keeps asking and I keep making wishes.  During these repeat performances, it’s hard to keep thinking of new things to want, a nice statement perhaps on how the presence of this child fills up so many places in a heart.

She complains that I haven’t been wishing for really important things, so I choose a wish I know will impress.  “Cake.”  That one brings a big smile. She waves the wand and whooshes. “Yes!  Cake!”  Then I name every toy I’ve heard her speak about.  “You want that?   Me too!”

Every time we go to Target she cruises the $1.00 bins and convinces me there’s something she needs.  We go to Target a lot when we’re together, sometimes just to pick up some of their great popcorn.  She checks the selection of magic wands.  I say, “Let’s get the things on our list first, then we’ll talk about wands.”  Up and down the aisles she keeps up  her sales pitch about why she really needs a new wand, chatting about the many things it can do to improve our future.  I say, “You already have a wand.”  Her response is yes, she has two but her favorite magic wand, the best one,  is broken.

A dollar plus tax and on the way out of Target she’s waving a new wand,  asking me and everyone she encounters to make a wish.  Just close your eyes, she says, and she whooshes.  The new wand goes everywhere.  It goes with her to Charlotte’s house, where the two of them spend time transforming each other.

A bit weary of the wishing, I warn her, this time I have a long list.  That’s okay, she assures me, she can make all of them come true.  I say,

“I wish to be smarter

And healthy

And kinder

And beautiful

And richer”

Then I close my eyes and tell her to go ahead.

She doesn’t whoosh.  She’s concerned.

“But don’t you want to be a princess?”

“I guess so.”

Her face is sad so I concede.

“Okay then.  Go ahead. Wave your wand.  I’ll be a princess.”

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I remain “Hammy” still, but as Caedan Ray got older and was concerned with being teased by her peers, when she introduced me, she corrected herself.

“This is Ham… this is my grandmother.

It’s actually “Princess Hambone” if you please. My status was elevated long ago when I received a tiara and a sash from my girls to prove it, but after all these years, at home I’m still “Ham.”

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Kid walks into a greeting card store…

We are looking for a card for her mommy. She used to draw her own cards and they were filled to the edges with hearts and flowers and xxxxoooo, but since she learned to read, she prefers to pick one herself from the selection at Target.

When I’m in her town, we shop together. It turns out many of the cards on the bottom rows – the only part of the rack she can reach – are the ones featuring bad puns and broad humor. She’s loving this. I reach up to show her several cards with sweet sayings.

Me: “Look, they have other kinds of cards here too.”

She’s 7. She loves princesses and pink, but is equally fond of gross, and, I quickly learn, she’s a very independent shopper. Her sense of humor involves all things icky and yucky, and when rude sounds can be incorporated, all the better. If memory serves, her Mother’s Day card featured a monkey. For Easter, she chose a card with two cartoon rabbits teasing each other.

She: “This is hilarious!”

Me: “Or, here’s another pretty one.”

She: (offended) “Mom will like this one.”

And she was right, of course.

Until she gets taller, the sentiment is circumstantial, and based on what I’ve seen of the bottom row, her mom can expect lots of animal jokes and things that pop out when she opens her cards. Mom may someday receive more hearts and flowers, but she’ll have to wait ‘til her kid can reach the next rows up.

© Anita Garner 2012