Anticipation

 

Anticipation is the only thing I can control. It’s the looking-forward-to part of life and I get to decide when it starts and what it means. It’s a year-round necessity that puts the shine on everyday things if there’s any shine to be found.

Anticipation is head and shoulders above expectations, which can break your heart. It’s even more friendly than optimism.  Optimism is still an option, though I carry around memories of times when optimism stepped back and did nothing while I took my eye off the prize.  No offense, optimism, but sometimes you’re unreliable.

Anticipation isn’t just for holidays, though I’m writing this on the cusp of a season that includes lights and music and champagne and good coffee and pie. Looking-forward-to is a practice I was admonished against in childhood. The adults in my house cautioned “Don’t get your hopes up.” They missed the point. I’d already decided that anticipation isn’t hope, though it can be hope-adjacent.

Anticipation certainly isn’t the same as expectation. Expectations come with too much pressure and require depending on others.  I’m not brave enough anymore for a steady diet of that. Dodging expectations is a survival tool I’m sticking with.

I’ve always felt safest choosing my own level of enthusiasm. It helps create an interior life that I knew early on I’d be needing.  Today if I mention something I’ve decided to look forward to and someone responds with “Isn’t it a bit early…” I flip the listening switch to the off position before the rest of that sentence is finished. The best part about embracing anticipation is, it’s mine and it begins whenever I need it.

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Looking forward to it is my favorite part.

By Anita Garner

I like Christmas Eve more than Christmas Day and Thursday night better than Friday (a holdover from when we used to work a five-day week.) I like the days spent making packing lists for a trip (remember when we used to travel?) and watching for the delivery truck to arrive, even when it’s something I’ve ordered for myself.

I cling to anticipation. It’s the only thing I get to decide and even that is iffy these days.  The days/weeks/months leading to any event are my favorite part and when Christmas has come and gone, it’s not the presents I’ll miss.   I’ll miss waiting for it to arrive.

Some people are superstitious about expressing a desire for something, fearing they might jinx it, but even when we try not to, of course we have expectations and with them come the possibility for disappointment.  It’s a chance I’ll take. Having no expectations would feel like  giving up, not something I’m willing to do.  If optimism is only for children who still believe, then put me down for that.

Before bedtime every night (shall I add “during these unprecedented times?”) I try to find the next thing to look forward to.  It might be as big as completing a project or as small as taking the first step to start a new one, or looking forward to tomorrow morning’s coffee.

Here I sit surrounded by gift-wrapped packages and lights and provisions for wonderful meals and my thought is, now I only have a few more days to spend in anticipation.  I’ll snap out of it as soon as I come up with the next thing to look forward to.

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Anticipation is my favorite season.

By Anita GarnerChristmas Eve is the end of one of my favorite seasons.  It’s not the holidays I’ll miss, it’s the looking-forward-to part.

People have asked many times through the years, don’t you think it’s too early to start talking about that trip, house, project, job, visit, etc.?  No.  It’s never too early.  The best part about anticipation is that I can begin whenever I please.

Here’s why I love it so much.  Anticipation is the only part of an experience I can control, so when I think of an upcoming event, it’s the leading-up-to I concentrate on.

Here I sit surrounded by gift-wrapped packages and lights and provisions for a bountiful dinner tomorrow, and my thought is, I only have one more night before the Season of Anticipation ends. So, yeah, a little bit sad, but I’ll snap out of it. There’s a whole year full of new anticipations waiting.

Favorite Day Of The Week

By Anita Garner

Thursday’s my favorite day of the week. A Thursday’s as good as a Friday, in terms of anticipation, and  anticipation is the key. Looking forward to something is often more fun than the “something” when it actually arrives.  The one thing we can decide all by ourselves is what and how much we’re anticipating.

On Thursday, whether or not there are weekend plans, I look forward to the weekend.  This was true even when I worked weekends, and it’s true today when I am more or less in charge of my own work schedule.  There’s no accounting for this little fizz of joy that bubbles up around afternoon coffee time on a Thursday.  It’s the feeling that something good might happen.

When I was a kid and a brand new member of the workforce, I bought the “hump day” reasoning.  Everyone talked about how great Wednesday would be, because it’s the halfway point in the week.  But that didn’t last long.  It never did carry the anticipation of a Thursday.

On the opposite side of this falls the least favorite day of the week.  Sunday seems to be the letdown point for lots of us. Some say it goes back to childhood when, by Sunday  afternoon, fun was done and a new school week loomed.

I’m thinking maybe it’s the letdown from all that Thursday anticipation. But I’m not giving up the Thursday feeling just to alleviate the Sunday afternoon blues.  Anticipation is still the only part of the week I can control.

Best Day Of The Week

By Anita Garner

People often pick Sunday night as the worst part of the week.  Not the daytime, but the late afternoon into evening part.  It’s the time when we realize the weekend is over. Even if it’s been a lousy weekend and we should be glad it’s over, still we dread Monday.

Some of us confess to a vague sense of dread as Sunday comes to a close.  Is it the memory of having to give up our free time and go back to school Monday morning?  Even mature adults who love their work and don’t mind at all showing up on Monday, deal with feelings of melancholy on Sunday night.

My favorite day of the week is Thursday, because on Thursday, we’re already through half of the week and headed into the part where we’re looking forward to a weekend.  Though I work at home and don’t have to show up anywhere most Monday mornings, I still get that looking-forward-to rush every Thursday.  There’s even an old saying for it.  “Thursday’s good as a Friday.”

The one thing in life I feel I can control is anticipation.  People say “Don’t get your hopes up.”  I like getting them up.  So I like Thursdays the way I enjoy most of the nights-before: The night before a birthday, for instance, and the ultimate night-before – Christmas Eve.

I like Christmas Eve  better than Christmas Day.  It doesn’t have to do with presents expected, but more to do with having everything waiting and yet to unfold.  Christmas Day requires special maneuvering to keep it from feeling a bit like Sunday night.

Thursdays are Christmas Eve every week, when hopes are high and everything’s still possible.

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