This morning I had a nice hourlong conversation with my longtime friend and blogging partner, Anita Garner. I use the word “conversation” in its most literal definition: we actually talked, face to face, across hundreds of miles via Zoom.
While we don’t talk often Anita and I swap emails frequently and we both reply immediately with the grace of sincere friendship and the not insignificant abilities we each have in stringing words together.
But talking today was really a treat.
We laughed out loud without ever having to type “lol”. We excused ourselves when we accidentally spoke at the same time because that’s how humans stumble through communication.
“Wait, what?”
“I’m sorry. What were you saying?”
That’s the pure form of a conversation between friends. Remember?
We listened and replied with only half-formed ideas. My friend heard my hesitation, and I, hers. We helped each other by better defining the original thought.
“What I mean is…” one of us would begin to explain. Then the other would arrive at the same mental place and agree, “Yes, that’s right!” or words to that effect.
The subject was thereby sealed. Our hearts did a fist bump.
Seems like the most natural thing in the world, doesn’t it, conversation? Until you think about the last time you had an unguarded chat with someone you trusted to really hear you, respond with care, and offer to help whittle down the fine points of a topic. Then together you can peel it like an artichoke and get to the heart of the matter. You might learn more about your own original thought. You might even change your mind about something.
Epiphany, the ultimate satisfaction of conversation.
Talking with Anita about her book, my work, her granddaughter, and the big, gray mammal in the room, getting old, was fun and enlightening for me. In the course of a fast hour we each learned a little and found affirmation in understanding. We laughed when we agreed on something we had thought unique to our own experience. We remembered questions we wanted to ask each other thirty or forty years ago and finally, we ask, and get answers.
We touched upon the past but didn’t linger there. We are each still full of our nows and tomorrows.
A couple of hours later this has occurred to me:
You think you know a person but unless you catch up with her evolution from time to time you only know who you both were long ago.
Dave, connecting on Zoom or Facebook is Conversatioin. Much better than texting or talking on a phone. When you can talk to someone while looking at them, it”s almost like being there.
Thank you for the blog, hope you are doing well.
I quite agree, Bill, talking is conversation. My point is that abbreviation of the written language and wholesale redefining of words reduce language to mere implications. That affects our spoken conversations, too. What’s worse is, with a text there is no real expectation or obligation to respond.
Well what a lovely way to put it. I absolutely agree.