Sorkinese

CarolAnn and I recently got Netflix.

As a writer of dialogue myself I’m a slobbering fan of Aaron Sorkin for his creation of The West Wing and Studio 60. With Netflix I was anxious to get another look at Sorkin’s Sports Night for the first time in a dozen years. I immediately fell in love with the show again and settled down to watch all 45 episodes in three days.

Here’s what I discovered:

I don’t care if you’re watching Sorkin or Neil Simon or William-Fricking-Shakespeare, stylized dialogue gets appallingly self-caricatured if you watch too much in one sitting. Also, like picking up a Southern drawl after spending a weekend in Atlanta it’s highly contagious.

I’ve started speaking Sorkinese.

This morning as CarolAnn was leaving for work we had the following conversation:

Me: What do you want for dinner?

CA: What?

Me: Dinner. What do you want?

CA: Tonight?

Me: Yes, tonight. What do you want?

CA: For dinner…

Me: Right.

CA: I don’t care.

Me: Maybe not now but you will. If it was dinner time right now, what would you want?

CA: Where are my keys? Hey, can you please do some laundry today?

Me: Laundry, yes, but first I want to figure out dinner. And, how would I know?

CA: What?

Me: What, what?

CA: How would you know what?

Me: Where your keys are. How would I know?

CA: Found ’em! Gotta go. Surprise me. Chicken fried steak.

(She gives him a peck on the cheek and goes out the back door.)

Me: Which? Surprise you or chicken fried steak?!

Author: Dave Williams

Dave Williams is a radio news/talk personality originally from Sacramento, now living in Dallas, Texas, with his wife, Carolann. They have two sons and grandsons living in L.A.

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