I love rain.
I don’t love driving or walking in it, of course, but sitting inside a cozy, warm house while God cleans and replenishes our world is high on my list of the best things in life. If there’s a fireplace in the room it goes up another notch or two.
Yesterday though, I had to drive to work in a pounding rain — highly unusual in Southern California and all the more dangerous for that reason. That nobody knows how to drive in the rain here is not only an accepted fact, it is the subject of much chuckling and chortling among Southern Californians. Not that it’s funny in the least. Busy freeways with people smacking into each other as if we were all driving carnival bumper cars is very stressful.
I was running a little late and didn’t take time to eat before I left the house. I figured a drive-thru burger would do just fine.
Now, the funny thing about the Carls Jr. in our neighborhood is that it was constructed backward. By that I mean the drive-thru window is on the wrong side of the building. Consequently, when you reach the window it is also on the wrong side of your car, the passenger’s side. I had to get out of the car to pick up my order.
The rain was hard and relentless. Not wanting the inside of the car to get wet, I left the keys in the ignition, engine running and closed the door behind me, making sure first that it wasn’t locked. Really, I did that.
The moment I stepped away from the vehicle THE DAMNED SECURITY SYSTEM IN THAT MODERN MARVEL LOCKED ME OUT!!
So, here I am — locked out of my car, waving the drive-thru customers behind me around my steaming, wiper-active, warm, dry, inaccessible 2005 Toyota Sienna.
I know some of those people are still telling the story of the idiot they saw yesterday standing in a downpour, without a jacket or umbrella, calmly eating a Western Bacon Cheeseburger.
© Copyright 2010, Dave Williams. All rights reserved.
I wish I didn’t want to smile. Really I do. But first reaction is a smile and then oh no! and then a smile. And then I think back to when you were doing a talk show and how much fun your callers would have (for hours) with this story.
gee Dave I didn’t know you are still working!! Does Mc Donald’s know you were eating at Carl’s? He!He! Actually I locked myself out of my truck while it was running and went to a sales meeting at work for two hours only to come back and find the truck still running and no way to get in it. I had to get some one to take me home to get the a key and went back and it was still running and I was able to turn it off and still had gas!! Al Gore would be AGAST!!
Yikes! I envision the final ignomy may have been their charging you more to eat that burger there, in the rain. And I can relate having done the same this week. How come these misadventures always seem to happen in downpours? And with such Dickensian subplots!
I can imagine your animated frustration. It’s one of the reasons I refuse to EVER buy a new vehicle with an automatic door locking system or auto security program that would … lock me out of my wheels, which I’m prone to do more that I’d care to admit.
That issue was re-enforced last year when after getting some air for my right rear truck tire at the local service station – a lady parked next to me was screaming into her cell phone, yelling to “someone” about getting over there to the station and, bringing a spare key and helping her get into the car as she’d just locked herself out of. On her model, there were no door lock knobs on the top ledge inside, so a coat hanger wouldn’t even be used to pop it open from the outside. And no one at the station had a … Slim Jim.
Kind of like Clinton – I felt her pain.
Just a suggestion for you, buddy, but for several decades now,and as one who still today manages to lock himself out of my rig, I always carry a spare truck, and house key that I slipped into a small, plastic sleeve inside my back wallet. On those few occasions when I’ve gone “brain fa-t”, and locked myself out, I simply reach into my back wallet, slip out that spare key, pop the door and … BINGO, I’m back on the road. Works every time. Of course with automatic door locks that are on newer cars today, maybe what locks you out is just a small “dead battery” in your remote key clicker.
I don’t know; wouldn’t have one.
The whole episode reminds me of a Tim Hawkins comedy bit where he questions the physical resolve of those who own … electric tooth brushes …as opposed to the reliable ol’ manual kind:
A guys brushin’ his teeth one morning and starts yelling – “Oh, man … this is killing me, here. Dear, God, I’m feelin’ the burn. My arm’s about to drop off. Wish they’d invent some kind of tooth brush that … moves by itself.” Load, I’m dyin from exhaustion …”
It’s a great bit … with a practical message.
Anyway, Dave, you might consider that spare key in wallet thing. For me … it works every time.
And did I mention … I love your writing? Yep , I do. Keep it up.
Morg