July 27, 2024<\/p>\n
I\u2019m getting old.<\/p>\n
We say we\u2019re \u201cgetting\u201d old because we don\u2019t know exactly when old happens and we keep pushing it back. I\u2019m about two weeks from my 73rd birthday and still waffling on the definition of old. But along the way, I\u2019ve gotten some physical bulletins that are impossible to ignore.<\/p>\n
Unlike everyone my age I know, I will share my experience with you. You\u2019re welcome.<\/p>\n
The first heads-up was realizing that I need to take advantage of every public bathroom I see, whether or not I feel the need because when I do feel the need, it might well be too late.<\/p>\n
Why didn\u2019t somebody warn me about that? It seems like it would have been a neighborly heads-up between \u201cgetting old\u201d friends. Just tell me, \u201cYou\u2019re going to start leaking if you don\u2019t pee in every nearby urinal or toilet.\u201d That seems like a polite piece of advice, doesn\u2019t it? Tell your friends.<\/p>\n
A few days ago I had my remaining teeth taken out of my head. I now have no, zero, teeth.<\/p>\n
The back story is lifelong, I\u2019ve always had lousy teeth. Even as a child of the 50s, I had many cavities and horrific experiences with Dr. Clifford and his slow, smoke-emitting drill.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve always brushed. I have occasionally flossed, (wink-wink). But while other people went in for semi-annual checkups I stayed away because nothing in my mouth ever hurt even as my teeth simply began disintegrating for no apparent reason.<\/p>\n
I had one tooth break while I was eating soft, non-crunchy ice cream. A couple of years ago I found a broken tooth in my mouth while I was sleeping<\/em>. WTF?<\/p>\n So, CarolAnn and I decided it would be best, and ultimately cheaper, if I would just yank \u2018em all and get dentures.<\/p>\n As of three days ago, I have no teeth but expensive dentures that look like those wind-up chattering toys we\u2019ve all seen.<\/p>\n
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