It’s pretty much a given –\u00a0without the Lifetime and Hallmark networks – Christmas couldn’t exist.\u00a0 I’m not knocking those two – in fact I schedule my season in order to leave time to watch just about every\u00a0 Christmas movie. Most of them aren’t very good – by anybody’s movie standards – but they all end happily.\u00a0 Every single one of them.\u00a0 And this time of year that’s just fine with me.\u00a0 I like my holidays\u00a0predictable.<\/p>\n
Predictable is the word for the titles.\u00a0 Most of them are named “The Christmas………..”\u00a0<\/p>\n
To fill in the blank, choose one of the following:\u00a0\u00a0Miracle.\u00a0Note.\u00a0 Wish.\u00a0 Family.\u00a0 Reunion.\u00a0Angel.\u00a0\u00a0Magic.\u00a0 Wedding. Story. Cottage.<\/p>\n
Many\u00a0plots center on a scrooge-like character (young man, young woman, old man, old woman) who never learned the real meaning of Christmas – so we need one big event to teach them.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Another favorite plot involves someone who’s been away from their home town.\u00a0 This person has often had a high-falutin’ career in the big city and for some reason returns to said home town\u00a0and proceeds to re-fall in love with 1)\u00a0 the town, or 2)\u00a0 a\u00a0former sweetheart who stayed there all this time and is miraculously single.\u00a0 And of course through this return visit, the true meaning of Christmas is revealed.<\/p>\n
A plot\u00a0that\u00a0repeats every year – the successful business person is sent home to shut down a plant\/store\/company that is the main source of income for all residents.\u00a0 During the course of this 1-1\/2 hour movie, the person sent to do the deed gets converted to small-town thinking and\u00a0finds a more efficient way to run the plant\/store\/company so that all get to keep their jobs.\u00a0Turns out the people who work in the little town are the kindest, most generous\u00a0folks this executive has ever met.\u00a0 And once in a while the hatchet man\/woman falls in love with the\u00a0local plant supervisor\/employee\u00a0spokesperson<\/p>\n
Of course many\u00a0plots feature children.\u00a0Sometimes it’s kids trying to keep mommy and daddy together.\u00a0 Sometimes it’s a kid whose parents have died.\u00a0 Or kids who haven’t learned the real meaning of Christmas yet but\u00a0are still too young for that\u00a0high-falutin’ career in the big city, so their lessons must be taught in a slightly different way, but rest assured, those lessons will be taught.\u00a0Pets are often\u00a0involved.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I’ll watch all of them.\u00a0 At least I’ll try.\u00a0Just because I\u00a0can guess what’s coming in the next scene, that’s no reason to give up my cup of coffee, feet on the coffee table,\u00a0Christmas movie playback.<\/p>\n