How much of\u00a0what we’re drawn to in other people – either in friendship or in love – is\u00a0that they seem to be our opposites?\u00a0 Or are we most attracted to people whom we feel are\u00a0exactly like us?<\/p>\n
One theory says\u00a0we choose\u00a0people who possess something we wish we knew.\u00a0 Or wish we owned.\u00a0 Or wish we could be.\u00a0The other theory\u00a0is that\u00a0we seek people\u00a0who mirror us.<\/p>\n
The longer I live, the\u00a0more I feel most comfortable with people with whom I have the really important things in common – values –\u00a0and the less I care about whether we agree on the superficial stuff.<\/p>\n
In childhood,\u00a0there’s a fascination with people who venture where we don’t dare to go.\u00a0 For a while they seem the most fascinating. As\u00a0parents, all we can do is hope our kids will eventually figure out that some common ground is also important.<\/p>\n
Remember the affair in\u00a0Bridges of Madison County?\u00a0The\u00a0attractive photographer, Robert Kincaid (played by Clint Eastwood)\u00a0meets a\u00a0woman, Francesca Johnson,\u00a0(played by Meryl Streep)\u00a0who quickly\u00a0falls into a longing state.\u00a0 For him.\u00a0 About him?<\/p>\n
Or – as one writer suggested – maybe she’s\u00a0attracted to\u00a0the\u00a0fantasy of\u00a0 the independence she traded\u00a0for family life.\u00a0 Is Robert, deep down,\u00a0a manifestation of Francesca’s\u00a0dream for herself?\u00a0\u00a0From time to time\u00a0that\u00a0idea\u00a0pops back into my head.\u00a0 The writer\u00a0asked, if Francesca had become a photographer herself, couldn’t she have skipped the\u00a0affair?\u00a0 The theory being that\u00a0 Francesca was really\u00a0drawn\u00a0to\u00a0things Robert knew that\u00a0she wished she knew.<\/p>\n
A while back,\u00a0after leaving behind\u00a0a friendship I once thought I\u00a0wanted, I began\u00a0thinking that particular\u00a0writer and W.\u00a0Shakespeare both make good points.\u00a0 If\u00a0we\u00a0all\u00a0followed our own drummers, whatever tune is playing inside our heads (the old “to thine own self be true” theory)\u00a0would we be attracted to a\u00a0different type of person?<\/p>\n