{"id":63,"date":"2008-07-06T05:43:29","date_gmt":"2008-07-06T12:43:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theagingofaquarius.com\/ag_blog\/?p=63"},"modified":"2008-07-08T18:18:57","modified_gmt":"2008-07-09T01:18:57","slug":"putting-on-a-cell-phone-show","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theagingofaquarius.com\/ag_blog\/putting-on-a-cell-phone-show\/","title":{"rendered":"Putting On A Cell Phone Show"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every cell phone is a potential camera and a potential record of something embarrassing we’re\u00a0doing right now.\u00a0 <\/span>Strangers can hold up a phone and send a picture of us\u00a0anywhere. But that’s not the most intrusive thing cell phones can do.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Worse are\u00a0the performances we’re forced to watch against our will.\u00a0 <\/span>Lately everywhere I go, cell phones are treated as stages, with the holder of the phone putting on a show.\u00a0 <\/span>The trouble is, I didn’t buy a ticket nor do I want to get in for free.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I just came back from Starbucks, a\u00a0confined space, where several people in different corners of the coffee emporium were busy working on productions that were too big for the room.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

One man paced back and forth between tables.\u00a0 <\/span>Another was\u00a0loudly talking into his phone about\u00a0something he needed everyone\u00a0to know about him.\u00a0 <\/span>He tossed around the word “millions.”\u00a0 <\/span>This guy reminded me of the olden days when one man puffed up a story like that\u00a0while acting as wingman for his buddy at the bar.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A woman raised her voice telling someone on the other end of a conversation what an awful week she had. She named names.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A man pushed open the door,\u00a0stood in the center of the room and shouted into his phone, “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”\u00a0 <\/span>He turned around\u00a0to scan the line waiting to order.\u00a0 This\u00a0was no quiet little glance.\u00a0 It was\u00a0a large whoosh of a turn. Then\u00a0he spun back around, and projecting like one of the Redgraves,\u00a0he said, “Go ahead.\u00a0 <\/span>Get started.\u00a0 <\/span>Ten minutes.\u00a0 <\/span>Yes.\u00a0 <\/span>Start now and I’ll be there.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

All of these performances break two rules of show business.\u00a0 <\/span>Rule number one:\u00a0 <\/span>If you’re going to draw attention to yourself,\u00a0don’t be boring.\u00a0 <\/span>Rule number two: (If this isn’t a rule it should be.) Be sure you have a willing audience. Willing <\/em>does not include people who are stuck next to you\u00a0because of coffee cravings.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Do you ever wonder who’s on the other end of these\u00a0conversations?\u00a0One day, while I waited in the\u00a0market checkout line, the man in front of me talked\u00a0into his cell phone loudly enough for the people in the back of the store to hear, while the checker scanned his stuff.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

At first I thought, oh he’s letting his mate know he’s successfully completed a\u00a0shopping list, but because of the responses, that notion was dispelled.\u00a0 <\/span>It was clear he and the person\u00a0on the other end of the call were making a plan to do something tomorrow but the guy in the store couldn’t seem to think a thought\u00a0without\u00a0repeating it into the phone, so\u00a0<\/span><\/span>there was not only boring conversation, but also\u00a0a\u00a0recitation of products.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Evidently some new rules were written since I read my manual.\u00a0 Here’s the revision:\u00a0If we own a cell phone we must talk into it at all times.\u00a0 <\/span>Loudly. And while we talk, we must pace up and down in a small space, the smaller the better.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

While talking,\u00a0imagine there is a camera pointed at us, recording our lives.\u00a0 <\/span>A\u00a0producer may need\u00a0this material one day.\u00a0 <\/span>I’ll leave you with a transcript of that supermarket conversation, and you decide if this is a reality show you’ll want to watch. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

“Yeah.\u00a0 <\/span>Beans. Okay.\u00a0 <\/span>Tomorrow.\u00a0 <\/span>Rice.\u00a0 <\/span>Nine sounds good.\u00a0 <\/span>Tomatoes.\u00a0 <\/span>You off all day?\u00a0 <\/span>Bacon.\u00a0 <\/span>Nah, I’m going in first. Potatoes.\u00a0 <\/span>Just for a few minutes though.\u00a0 <\/span>Onions.”\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00d3<\/span><\/span> Anita Garner 2008<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every cell phone is a potential camera and a potential record of something embarrassing we’re\u00a0doing right now.\u00a0 Strangers can hold up a phone and send a picture of us\u00a0anywhere. But that’s not the most intrusive thing cell phones can do. \u00a0 Worse are\u00a0the performances we’re forced to watch against our will.\u00a0 Lately everywhere I go, … Continue reading “Putting On A Cell Phone Show”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[171,173,172],"class_list":["post-63","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-cell-phone","tag-loud","tag-performance"],"yoast_head":"\nPutting On A Cell Phone Show – Anita Garner | The Aging of Aquarius<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/theagingofaquarius.com\/ag_blog\/putting-on-a-cell-phone-show\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Putting On A Cell Phone Show – Anita Garner | The Aging of Aquarius\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Every cell phone is a potential camera and a potential record of something embarrassing we’re\u00a0doing right now.\u00a0 Strangers can hold up a phone and send a picture of us\u00a0anywhere. 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