Here’s a question that comes up a lot lately:\u00a0 Do you still hear from her\/him? I used to think it was a badge of honor to say I’ve had the same friends forever, but just as all of my old clothes don’t fit anymore, neither do all the people I used to know.\u00a0 I still cherish\u00a0friendships that have endured for decades, but not all the people I used to know are people I want to be with\u00a0today.\u00a0 When we were younger, we clumped together for various reasons.\u00a0 We formed parent groups, church groups, hobby groups, business groups and volunteering-in-the-community groups.<\/p>\n
Today I’m not so big on groups.\u00a0 One size doesn’t easily fit all.\u00a0 The friend who makes me laugh may not be the one with whom I want to discuss problems.\u00a0 Neither does one size fit forever.\u00a0 I now have a shorter list of friends and a more focused to-do list.<\/p>\n
Recently my daughter asked, “Remember when we used to have those parties at our house and we’d have\u00a0a hundred people there?”\u00a0 I wonder, where did I get all that energy?\u00a0 I look at photos and examine old memories and they point to the fact that indeed, fun was being had, yet it’s not a situation I’d be drawn to now.<\/p>\n
Have you ever fallen out of touch with someone and then you reconnect and it’s just different?\u00a0 These days I let an extra beat go by before deciding to restore the relationship.\u00a0 A few sentences after “Hello again” we may no longer have anything to talk about.<\/p>\n
Letting go of relationships doesn’t happen without guilt.\u00a0 I ask myself why don’t I want to be with these people?\u00a0 The answer’s right there, but I’m sometimes slow to accept it.\u00a0 History alone isn’t enough.\u00a0 Seasons change.\u00a0 Values change.\u00a0 People change.<\/p>\n
My friend, Catherine approaches life in the most realistic way of anyone I know.\u00a0 She believes we need different kinds of relationships at different stages in life.\u00a0 Not only does she let go of the ones that don’t fit anymore, but she quickly replaces them with people who do.<\/p>\n
A few months ago, she hosted a party to celebrate her 90th birthday.\u00a0 I’m one of her newer friends, considering we’ve only known each other about twenty years.\u00a0 I take her counsel to heart and try to be more aware of the natural ebb and flow, but there will never be another\u00a0like Catherine.\u00a0 When I mention any age-related problem, she says, “Oh honey, you’ll work it out.\u00a0 You’re still just a baby.”\u00a0 Where would I find another friend who’ll take the trouble to lie to my face like that?<\/p>\n